A Connecticut man tried to tell Taylor Swift that You Belong With Me by robbing a bank.
Call It What You Want, but according to the Associated Press, Rhode Island police believe that it was in bank robber Bruce Rowley’s Wildest Dreams to propose to Swift, showing his devotion by committing a federal crime.
You should know that the total sum of Rowley’s score amount it around $1,6o0: a princely bounty that, as any love-starved misogynist will tell you, is guaranteed to attract the affections of any woman, no matter she is or how much of a loon you might be.
Rowley’s belief in the fact that Two is Better Than One wasn’t long lived, however. After figuring out Rowley’s plan, cops from Rhode Island chased him all the way to Connecticut and placed him under arrest. I’m betting that Rowley falsely believed that by crossing the state line, he’d be able to evade the police and wind up Safe and Sound. But the Highway Don’t Care. Love Story or not, the cops got their man.
So yeah, if you’re thinking of pulling some creepy stalker bullshit, maybe don’t.
What wondrous times we live in. [Previously]
I don’t know what’s better, the peppy beats of this Taylor Swift pop-punk medley or the delightfully deadpan performance of Brett Domino (aka comedian Rob J. Madin).
Each were given 52 frames of Shake it Off, and the result is “2767 frames of lovingly hand-drawn rotoscoped footage.” Come for the tentacles, stay for the surrealist dragon kin.
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